Veg Lifestyle: The Coming Out

Shirt available from http://www.cafepress.com.



While checking out some vegetarian forums and messageboards last night, I noticed a couple posts from new vegetarians expressing some anxiety with coming out as a vegetarian after being a meat-eater for their entire lives.

I decided to become a vegetarian the same week I had a family gathering to go to. I had never been a big meat eater anyway, and at that point I had finally decided to take the plunge and cut out all meat in all forms, which was not a major feat for me at the time. However, at the family dinner, I suddenly became aware of how much more there is to vegetarianism than simply 'not eating meat'.

At the time I was not a cook. The extent of my dinner preparation involved a drawer full of takeout menus and a cell phone. As a result, I wasn't really knowledgeable on what exactly was in what in terms of meals, and found that I had to openly ask the cooks of the meals what ingredients were in them. While most people were somewhat supportive, I also felt that I was a bit of an annoyance to some, constantly questioning what was cooked and in what way.

This annoyance, I feel, stemmed from the fact that some people did not take me seriously, and saw my vegetarianism as a passing fad that would be gone by the next family gathering.

Now that I have been a vegetarian for several months, and have taken quite a liking to cooking, I don't have to ask as many questions anymore, although they do still come up. However, I've found that people accept the questions more, and those closest to me even point out which dishes are vegetarian-friendly without me asking.

You see, it's a bit of a learning curve for everyone involved when someone close to them makes this lifestyle choice. We ask for patience and tolerance from them, but I feel we need to offer them the same. I come from a very large European family with a farming background and very little interaction with vegetarianism, so as I learned how to become a vegetarian, they also learned how to help and accept me.

Although it may seem a bit tedious and an annoyance when newer converts ask for ingredient lists, I found it really effective in developing my identity as a vegetarian. Although I admit that I did feel like a bit of a fraud when I first started asserting that I was a vegetarian, because I had only been one for a week, hearing myself say it was a reminder to myself about how important this decision was to me, and it was an assertion of my beliefs and what I wanted for myself. In a sense, it solidified and externalized the commitment I had made.

With the holidays upon us, you may be finding yourself having to explain your new vegetarianism to relatives you haven't seen since you made the decision to stop eating meat. Although your omnivore cousins may not understand you at first, lead by example and have patience with their skepticism, but don't feel guilty for asserting your position and asking what may seem like silly questions regarding the food being prepared.